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| my life is shit, which is probably no surprise to you becuase all i do on this fuckin xanga is bitch and complain and today is no different. last wednesday was my birthday. a not-so-sweet 16 for me hooray. it was probably one of the worst but who really keeps track anymore. i've been grounded and sick lately, which sucks. god i hate my dad. i cant tell you how much of an asshole he is. if you know me you know what i mean. i've been gettin bitched at extra lots lately. if there's one peron i could shot in the fuckin head and watch die it would most definitely be him. i really need to do something about justin, but what can i do? i like him way too much to dump him, but whatever. why do relationships with people change so fuckin much? i'm not talking just about boyfriends and girlfriends, i mean all relationships. maybe it's just me, but i feel like they're changing. people i thought i was close to have found other people to hang out with and have stopped calling me and it's like they don't need me anymore and i fuckin hate it. some people think all this emo crap is cool, but in reality it sucks and is really starting to get draining because there's so much to be mad about. fuck it all.
And I can't make it on my own.
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.
-hawthorne heights
(sic) | | |
| back to my old layout because the other ones suck. i fucking hate school. my weekend sucked because my friends suck. friday i got really fucked up again at ashley's 18th party and i really gotta stop doing that. sunday i was supposed to go to curve but nobody called which didn't bother me because that place isn't really for people like me and it's not exactly my favorite place to go. mr stroud is gonna bring me 20 dollars tomorrow (lol) he's cool. i need some more money. leave a dollar in my comments. i hope things start to look up. nothing else...
(sic)
p.s.-fuck you. | | |
| why haven't i updated lately? nothing's happened. the highlights, tuesday i left with niki, robin, jess and alicia and we went hooker huntin and followed old people around. yesterday was better, dropped my cigarettes in the mud but church was good. cassie christina mikey and shameka are fun to hang out with, i like those kids. i have new pictures to post but im at school so you'll have to calm your fuckin impatient asses down.
At night
At night I lay and think of you hoping my wishes and dreams come true
At night I wonder can this be the end is this all that's left
At night I wish we could go to the way things were
At night I lay and cry about the things that happened and how it all ended
At night I lay and think of us, I mean you and I
At night I realize there's no more us
At night I dream of us together again
At night I wish for us to be together again
But in the morning I realize it was all
At Night
(sic) | | |
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Easier To Run
Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played
If I could change I would take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
« Disorder | Rating »
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High
http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
(sic) | | |
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